Love & Pride: Remembering Uncle Marvin and Uncle Clyde
It has taken me a few days to process all the waves of emotions but I feel compelled to write today. So here I am. I lost two uncles, Uncle Marvin and Uncle Clyde, last week.
Uncle Marvin was the tall, silly and loving uncle. He possessed laughter like thunder and a certain pride for the family. Uncle Clyde was more sensitive, more reserved but still super lovable. He loved music, family and good food. To know them both, was to know good ole fashioned Florida sunshine.
To be honest, I did not see them often, as they had both made their lives in Florida. But, when we talked or when we spent time it was always memorable, filled with generosity and good vibes. They were, much like my late father, cyclones of personality. They would get in a room, pour a little something up and carry all the way on. And, I would watch it all unfold.
Then there was Facebook. Facebook is where we all stayed in constant contact. It’s where they would share my work, see what I was up to, where they would share photos of their kids, where they would bust-up in the comment section letting everybody know I was their nephew, they were family, etc. My last messages from both of them were simply about how much they loved us and how proud they were to be family.
And that’s what I’m holding onto — love and pride.
Not darkness.
Not depression.
Not anger.
Not hurt.
Love and pride are all I’m taking from this moment. It’s the only two emotions that I can dissect from this space right now. Love and pride. No emotional olympics, nor searching for specific reason or timing — just love and pride. Love and pride from, and for, my beloved Uncles’ Marvin and Clyde. Love and pride for my father’s two brothers, brothers who loved his children as they loved him, unconditionally.
Two or three summers ago, My Mom, My Uncles and other relatives met at Uncle Jr’s shed in South Carolina. And, if you’ve ever been to Uncle Jr’s shed you know it’s a legendary and magical place. At Uncle Jr’s shed, there are no tabs, no tears, no sadness and no death. At Uncle Jr’s shed, there is only good food, cold brews and much needed escape from the pressure cooker that can be black life.
That summer, Uncle Marvin, Uncle Derrick, Uncle Jr., Mom and other family were all together in the Shed, laughing like they hadn’t a care in the world. They danced, hugged, boogied, sang, played cards, smoked cigarettes, ate food and talked shit like they didn’t have a care in the world. Because they didn’t. They were more concerned with living, with making memories, with loving on one another and being present. Uncle Marvin sweatin’, Uncle Jr cookin’, Mom sassin’ — everybody in their rightful place. A smile comes to me just thinking about them. Always present with us, with love and pride.
“Some glad morning, when this life is over, I’ll fly away..”
Uncle Marvin and Uncle Clyde, I will miss you both so much. We all will. But I want you to fly on. Fly high and fly free. I want to thank you for your love and the lessons. I want to thank you for the memories and moments. Yall start building “The Shed” in Heaven. And, save some spots for us. Well see you when we get there.
Rest in Power, Marvin Irving and Clyde Irving. A beautiful band of brothers. Ever to live on, in our hearts.
To my extended family: There seems to be no appropriate response and no solution for this season of our lives. I have no words, no songs and no perspective at this time. I have not the spiritual or philosophical tools to break down the scope of their lives. What I do know is that with time, GOD will make all well.
On behalf of all of the family in New Jersey, I do want to again offer you our deepest sympathy and sincerest condolences. Uncle Marvin and Uncle Clyde were loved and will live on here in New Jersey as well. I hope and pray you will continue to honor both their lives with love and with pride.
